Sunset - UCSB by Vinay Shivakumar
Who Defines Your Vision of Beauty?
As an undergraduate at the University of California, Santa Barbara, I decided to take a Botany course about the native plants of California. My attraction to the course was that it included two extensive four-day road trips through the California Wilderness. On one of these trips, I was assigned to be part of our instructor's group. Her name was Kelly, and she was a PhD post-doc doing botanical research at UCSB.
During one of our long drives (each group drove in their own University owned utility vehicle) we started conversing about relationships. Professor Kelly asked one of our female group members if she had a boyfriend. The girl said “No” and Kelly asked “Why not?” The girl replied, “I guess I’m not pretty enough.” At that point, Kelly slammed on the brakes and pulled over. She turned around, looked the girl deeply into her eyes, and told her, “Never accept a definition of beauty that does not include your self.” These words have been stuck in my head for nearly 30 years now.
For me, this is exactly what “The Art of Possibility” by Roz and Ben Zander is all about. In the first Chapter, the Zander’s write, “It’s all invented anyway, so we might as well invent a story or a framework of meaning that enhances our quality of life and the lives of those around us.” In other words, if reality is merely an invented construct of the mind, we are continuously defining our reality either sub-consciously and/or consciously. We are much better off if we acknowledge this fact and begin a conscious effort to re-invent our own story in a way that promotes our own well-being, and thereby, each other’s well-being as well. Take control, become aware, invent your own story, and define your own vision of beauty.
Steve, while reading your post in regards to the book” Art of Possibilities”, I couldn’t help but feel as if you were reading pages of my life. I can relate to the young girl that felt she was not pretty enough to be in a relationship. As much as Alf yells at me about this, I tend to feel the same but I am working on changing this negative attitude. The statement Kelly made had an impact on me, and I will take it with me so it can help me with my journey.
ReplyDeleteI was beginning to lose my focus on my goals this past month due to all the issues occurring at work. I was really questioning if what we are doing here will even make a difference because of the politics that surround the world of education? But that way of thinking is beginning to change due to what I was exposed to with this book. YES! We do have to control and be aware of it.
Your explanation of Zander’s idea of “its all invented” was simple and straight forward which was a help for me in further understanding the concepts behind his words. At first I was a bit lost with the reading but then as I read more it began to make sense. People will see what they want to see regardless of your message. So why not define it to your liking, even if it does not follow the measurements of life; hence defining your own vision?
Steve, I truly enjoyed the story your shared. We need to create a standard where we are at our best; if we believe that we are beautiful no matter what anyone says, it will help us to become better individuals. By creating this type of environment, we can grow and be nurtured to become better individuals. This is one way for improvement. Just like Kelly stopped the brakes and told the girl to see herself in a new light, we also need to help those around us see themselves in a new light when they are in a destructive path. Having a personal cheerleader on our side tell us to we are doing our best tends to make a difference. I know I need it in my worst times.
ReplyDeleteExcellent reflection on the reading and what it might mean to us. Some have great difficulty with the idea that there might be a gap between our perceptions and reality. Thanks for sharing that important moment in your young university experience. Life lessons on a botany field trip, who knew?
ReplyDelete